Excitement Fail29
By jason in People Fail on November 22, 2011
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He’s just thinking the usual father thoughts… “my wife’s vag is ruined” and “shit, now I have to grow up”. Such a blessing.
Or: “What if he’s a fag? Is that passed in the genes or watchacall’em? Well thank God I’m not gay… One time doesn’t count, does it? And the baby can’t possibly know, can it?”
Jesus knows. He still loves you though.
That’s comforting. Is there a “one time is a-ok” clause in the bible or in the scriptures?
I think it’s in Deuteronomy… “and no man shall repeatedly lay with another man or touch flesh upon his loins… but once is like totally fine, especially if you’re in prison or the other guy is one of those attractive Thai transvestites”. So sayeth the lord.
Nice, I’ll let my, errr… friend know. He was worried about hell and stuff and he asked me to ask you.
So what does the Lord sayeth about sex on the Sabbath? While listening to Megadeth? With a girl named Beth?
Just apply the usual biblical take on sex… it’s fine, so long as she doesn’t enjoy it. Oh, and no ‘Hot Karls’ either… not on a Sunday. Cleveland Steamers are fine though. Dirty Sanchez too, unless you’re a Mormon.
Shabbat is on Saturday. Who ever told you it’s on Sunday is an idiot. And Sex on Shabbat is ok, but Megadeath only has one Kosher song to have sex to and that is Symphony of Destruction.
Jesus forgives me.
John 11:35
Ameth. I mean Amen.
NICKY NO NAME
Who’s your DADDY????
Fake
Totally… look at the pixels…
hey would you gals keep it down, I’m on the line with the Maury Povich show
He’s just pissed because the kid has asian eyes and is extremely dark complexion.
Another thing, he is probably realizing that he is never going to be able to lick another pussy ever again. After my first kid came out that is all I can think of and that has pretty much destroyed oral sex for me. I still like getting blow jobs though. I just can’t lick it. I remember the nurse telling me to look in her pussy to see my first son’s head and man, all that hair, all those nasty coolers, yeck. No fucking way am I licking that.
Did you really take a look at the stretched vagina? Of course the nurse told you to do it, it’s like a game for them, to see how many marriages will end due to sexual frustration.
Now get under the sheet and pretend it never happened.
Lol. You must not have been too good at it, if your wife doesn’t miss it.
LOL… dude is plotting his exit strategy all the way to the fuckin Tijuana! He’s thinking: Allright, if I knock that chair over, I’m out the door before they know it. Then, it’s a left, down 4 flights of stairs, right, straight, left, then right out the door to the car. Go straight home, grab the credit cards, fuck the clothes, and it’s Interstate 5 all the way to Mexico, Motherfuckers!
i fell asleep in front of the bed on the floor…nurse had to kick me awake when it was time to deliver.
guess which ones the father ,,, guess correct win a prize of $1 CASH
OK, how am I going to explain the afro, the big dick, and his awesome basketball skills?
both
he is thinking really hard and i can guess he is thinking “that baby doesn’t look a thing like me” what to do now?!?! WHY WHY WHY did i do this LOL this thing wont shut up(the mother)!! HAHA I am never going to sleep again!!
OH NO how do i tell my wife this woman had my baby!! AHHHHH
“oooh shit. is this the right time to tell her I prefer men”
“still don’t understand… WHY did she became pregnant when i exclusively did her in the butt. GOD WHY”
“no-no-no-NO. I’m NOT driving that dodge caravan. FUCK NO.”