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    1. When you lock a bathroom door on a airplane, theres this little slip on the door that changes from vacant to occupied.

    2. Either way, he shouldn’t be convicted. It’s not like he was in his seat doing it in the open. He was in the bathroom. He wasn’t intentionally being indecent.

    1. He’s got his hand on the Webster’s, praying to the vocabulary god, so as to not have to look up any more words for the day.

    2. they asked me if i learned my leasson….i said yes then also said next time i’ll make sure the door locked haha, because by that time i was already going to jail

  1. Who hasn’t been arrested for masturbating in public?! It’s a great way to get out and keep fit whilst watching your neighbour’s wife hang the washing. Besides, masturbating in-flight is easy… cracking one off in court, whilst being charged for public indecency… now that’s the holy grail of white-water-wristing.

    1. Damned good re-entry, Nick. And I hope you’re doing well. I’ve tried to keep the fort intact, but your best buddy has been constantly ASS-Oing. I’ll let you take over now.

    2. Yes. Nice opening quip there I must say ol chap. I can vouch for Fred. Been a bit busy, but handled himself (no pun intended) quite well.

    3. It ends with masturbating through the small opening in your underwear while you’re strapped to the electric chair, waiting for the switch to flip because you were sentenced to death for public indecency after years in jail for public indecencies.

      your soul will spend an eternity echoing in ecstasy while psychedelic tits, pussies and asses float around a white fountain if your orgasm peaks at the exact moment they flip the power switch and light your head.



    4. Disturbingly poetic Sherlock, thank you. And thank you Fred n Autumn for maintaining the humorous, playful wit that makes EF worth visiting… unfortunately I’ve been rather busy of late and not contributing as much as I have in the past… incessant masturbation occupies the vast majority of my days now, since the new Twilight was released on DVD. I have faith in you to carry on the good work though, even in the face of mindless adversity. Go team Edward.

  2. Just saying but she was about to go to the bathroom with her kid…
    seems a little wrong that she was about to watch her kid take a piss, when this Guy who was probbaly board out of his mind, He just wanted some pleasure

    1. yeah, cause they provide you with a fatal dose of O2 on airplanes. that’s why it’s so awesome. don’t judge me, fascist.

  3. Duh, didn’t this guy learn anything from The Hangover? Everyone is so uptight after 911. Thanks a lot Bin Laden!

    1. Y’know, every time I start getting mad about something that was caused by bin Laden, I remember that he was shot up and dumped into the sea to be eaten by crabs. It makes me smile again.

  4. If that mother doesnt explain what that man really was doing then that kid is going end up a confused fapper like that guy.

  5. So i got 1year in jail for this, my friend just told me he saw this on this happend a few years ago. the lady had to tell everyone that she saw my penis, i laughed in court it didnt really help me to much haha

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