Church Fail63
By jason in People Fail on April 29, 2012
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Lord please forgive me.
Tushe, if I ever saw one…
hahahahahaha
Well, I, for one, will never be forgiven, then.
This sign makes me want to see the sickfuck’s face that put this up. I’ll bet he’s more pervy looking than 2lolo.
FRED, God is telling you to give up all your sin….
Be a MAN!!!! Stop trying to get a SEX Change… and stop all of your “ASS to MOUTH”……
I can’t believe someone would put this up and that anyone would let it stay up. That’s just obscene.
Well, Pat Robertson has condoned marijuana, maybe he’s condoned porn now.
Churches are a fail without signs like this, much less with them
Agreed!
Personally, I gargle.
The girlfriend forgives me everyday for stupid shit I do, but I get no swallowing action. She, and many other women I’ve talked to, say the texture is the nasty part. I wonder if there are any women who actually enjoy the taste and texture of semen…
Its not that bad, especially if the man eats well and takes care of himself. Iv found that guys who eat a lot of fast food and processed food with sodas have a very bitter almost unbearable taste. Whereas guys who eat healthy, unprocessed food with a moderate amount of fruit have a much cleaner taste, its almost sweet sometimes.
As far as texture goes, the more water, the better. Also guys that frequently ejaculate tend to have a thinner, less dense release.
As far as girls who like it, I will proudly stand up and say I do.
How many guys did u swallow to figure all that out? You should be ashamed of yourself for saying stuff like that. Disgusting. You need Jesus in your life. Heck, this whole world needs Jesus. I need Jesus.
Marston, Eat about 4 bananas an hour before you get sucked man!
Marry me Kelta Rose.
I think it would be correct to say that Kelta.Rose has just developed a significant male fan base. Though, I’m sure there’s alot of grimacing women reading that remark.
@ Mara- Iv swallowed plenty. No I’m not ashamed because I consider shame to be an inferior emotion mainly propagated throughout history by the church. I do not need Jesus in my life because there is no evidence to support his existence (the bible is not evidence, it is a fictional book), the whole idea of God and religion is a fucked up ideology only supported by fear.
@ Ian- The institution of marriage appalls me. No offense.
Well, I’ll be happy to shack up and live in sin with ya then!
Alright Fred! That’s more my style! Are we still taking a group to Guyana?
Let’s get on it, dog gone it! We could probably take over ol’ Jim Jones’ old place if hippies haven’t over run it.
haha I was thinking the same thing! Im sure all the shit and blood have washed away. Why waste time fumbling around in the jungle when there is a perfectly good compound already awaiting us?
Let’s bring 2lolo and put him in the torture pit. I could get up in the morning and go take a piss on him. It’d make my day. Though he would probably enjoy that.
@keltarose. You’re one of those people that won’t believe in God until you have a death near experience. Have you ever seen I survived… Beyond n back. Most of those people didn’t believe in God until death crossed their path and they got to see that Hell its very real and there’s where they will be spending an ETERNITY for not believing in our father ,who sacrificed his only son for our salvation. God is very real my friend, and he loves you and he is waiting for you to come to him. If you want to believe humanity that there is no God and you wanna lead a life full of sins and burn in hell forever then go ahead, but I wanna go with him. Go to hiphopstar.com and search what is happening to this world.
Let us pray.
Hahahaha, Your funny Mara!! Oh, you were serious? Well, in that case, let me share something with you.
I can personally tell you what happens after death because Iv been dead, twice (I didn’t have to watch this on TV, I experienced it for myself). It was the most unobtainable peace anyone can ever experience. You literally fade into the blackness and succumb to the deafening quiet where there is no need, no want, no anger or hatred. You are completely void of all human burden. God did not come to greet me or whatever the myth is, and I did not burn. I was alone, but not afraid. It is not God you should be making peace with, it is yourself because after you die your going to have all the time in the universe by yourself.
I was raised by atheists, and see absolutely no logic in religion of any kind. Anyone who does something because of fear of ‘going to hell and burning’ and not because their moral compass tells them its wrong is completely brainless and unable to think for themselves.
I just read the first reply to my post and had a 73% erection. Then I read the last one and now its a -23% erection. How did you die…twice? And why all the time in the universe by yourself? I hate sleeping alone never mind spending eternity alone. Fuck this conversation…I’m going to masterbate then cry myself to sleep.
A car wreck, and then again a few days later when my heart just gave out. I was also in a coma for a short while. It is not at all unpleasant, like I said it is extremely peaceful. If you’ve ever been in a sensory deprivation chamber also known as an isolation tank, its the closest Iv come to finding that kind of zen again.
I’m with Marston on this one, how the hell did we go from oral sex to near death experiences?
Although I do recall passing out once during a fellatio.
Idk, Mara got all religious, I should have just called her stupid and moved on…
How do you pass out during fellatio? hat must have been a hell of a blowjob! You my friend have just raised the bar, Im gonna try to make a guy pass out now.
Kelt a, the reason why you felt so at peace, it’s because of all the drugs the had you on you moron, that’s what drugs do, google it. And I’m not ashamed to say that I need God every single second of every day, because without him I am nothing!!!! So you can say I’m brainless and I can’t think for myself all you want, it doesn’t bother me because I know I depend on my heavenly father and I will follow him wherever he goes. What are you gonna do when the first trumpet sounds?? Will you then believe in him?
Your sadly mistaken Mara, you have been brainwashed (probably from infancy) to think that you are going to go to this magical place after you die. That’s just not the case. I believe in myself and depend on myself, everything I have I attribute to myself. The fact that you depend on god deeply worries me. Maybe you could pray about those mudflaps?
Well you are wasting your time worrying about me. Worry about your soul, and god will show you that he’s very much alive and he is always with you. And what the heck are mud flaps?
‘Mudflaps’ are also known as the ‘labia minora’ on a woman’s vagina. All women have these,their main purpose is to protect the vaginal opening and urethra, and as we get older or birth numerous children these folds of skin elongate and protrude, sometimes giving the appearance of ‘mudflaps’.
Kelta if you’re a dude I swear to God…
Mara, yes pun freakin intended.
I wish I had invented and patented mudflaps. Damned things are expensive, nowadays.
Lymbe, I swear to god I’m not a dude…
I certainly hope not. Otherwise, if it comes out that you are a dude, then everybodys going to bust my chops after all these conversations we’ve had.
I wouldn’t do that to you Fred, I know how much your man-pride means to you…
Yes. True.
Nicky, Ian, Lymbe, 2lolo and many others’ main goal is to emasculate me. I try to be a friend and be nice, but these guys are so mean. They don’t realize how sensitive I am. BASTARDS!
Eeeeewwwww……. Fred how are you gonna find out if she’s a real woman or not?….. Hey lymbe, what you up too? Miss me???
Poor Fred…. Forget about them, once we get to Guyana you can fuck to your hearts content and piss on 2lolo every morning. You’ll rule with an iron cock and will be worshiped by all!
How do I know you’re a “real” woman, Mara?
Besides, we’ve been talking on webcam. I’ve seen her mudflaps. A set of mudflaps that I’d like to have face-slapping me silly.
I like that. I think I’ll change my name to Iron Cock.
I AM IRONCOCK!
Thanks, Miss Magneto!
I AM IRONCOCK!
THOU SHALT WORSHIP NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME!
Your welcome Ironcock! Ooooh SHINY!!!
WATCH IT! Don’t get prints on it! They’ll rust on!
Sorry, you want me to polish that for you?
@KELTA.ROSE, So you do SWALLOW… FRED is holding a new class for “ASS to MOUTH”…….
Hey Mara, here’s some food for thought.
There are 6.8 billion people on earth,
2 billion are christian
1.9 billion are buddhists
1.6 billion are muslim
1 billion are hindu
there is a shit load of others but I’ll stop with the major players.
So therefore 4.7 billion people make up the other major religions, so are you worshiping the right God? Are you sure what you believe is correct? How can so many people world wide be wrong Mara?
When I die I’m coming back as a ghost so I can fuck with everyone, move stuff, freak them out etc, now that would be fun!!
Yes 2lolo, I swallow… But seeing as to how you seem to have lost your penis under all the rolls of fat, I doubt any girl will ever swallow you.
@Ian- 2 thumbs up buddy!
Miss Good Pussy…uh…Kelta?
Do you mind if I call you “Miss Good Pussy”? Sorry, but I was just listening to Good Stuff by the B-52s and that came to mind.
Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that it’s not really a good idea to have direct conversation with 2lolo. You will, definitely, set off a trolling spree that you may not be ready for. “Just Sayin’”.
I’m not entirely sure what he does is considered “conversation”… In any case its going to take someone a lot smarter than him to insult me.
Ian, I like your statistics and (really) I’m gonna cut, paste, print and hang that over my monitor for further reference. But, buddy, ya know,…Mara doesn’t know what and where her mudflaps are.
Sorry, man, but I think we may be beating a dead horse here.
You know, Kelta, I’ve waited and been working here my whole life on this website (approx. 1.5 years) to have someone to join me in this crusade against this “We must speak in one liners like in text messaging and “social networking”, rather than have real conversations” battle.
I think I must utter the four letter word that most men shutter to hear other guys say to a woman: I think I “like” you.
I think I like you too Fred, and I’m happy to join your crusade to end the butchering of our language…
Epic- Thread
Thank you!
I’VE BEEN SAVED!!!
The preacher found a way for the molested boys to tell their parents what they learned in sunday school with out getting in trouble.
Must be a fake?
Lame jokes like that wont attract kids you know maybe church should stick to burning ppl alive like in old days