First to get my pubes caught in your esophagus.
damn i’m good
At choking on pubes.
your move, ghattsu
What if it snows?
*pees on own couch, naps in it*
*Spins in a circle three times and takes a dump on Jonesy*
But I think a shovel Would scratch it too much.
*pours gasoline on couch*
Oh, not cool.
*pretends it’s not cool, rubs it in when you leave*
Piss your name in the snow?
*finger paints “I love Kelta” on Jonesy’s computer screen with own fecal matter*
Uh,naked hot girls lying on the snow til it melts?
*brings matches and marshmallows*
*dies in house fire*
*many people attend funeral*
Say fuck it and go play hockey on the Xbox?
*Does naked jumping jacks*
*attacks Kelta’s breast with smurf pole*
Did someone say ‘naked jumping jacks’?
*is remembered by people as ‘kind, loving, totally not a dick at all’*
Use penis as a ball bat while Gren tosses snowballs?
*neglects to tell Gren the bull semen she drank was weapons grade and that she’ll soon turn into a slobbering sex crazed minotaur*
Stand outside with your mouth open catching snowflakes?
*shits in hand and wipes it on the front of Jonesy’s Monopoly-man-looking burial tuxedo*
Have hot chocolate?
*gets poo smeared on tux, nobody does anything about it*
Do bong hits?
*flips thru an old Playboy with Pamela Anderson as the centerfold and wishes she had posed for Hustler so he could see some pink*
What do you think that the green thing on the ice is for?
*jacks off violently while watching Dora the Explorer*
*gets dumped on floor so funeral party can take the coffin sledding*
Eat yellow snowcones?
*Rides Jonseys sloffin*
Yeah! Go sledding!
*coldly observes Gren’s nose begin to bulge and two knobs begin to sprout on her forehead; strips naked and takes a large bottle of Jagermeister from freezer; gets in coffin and insists he should go sledding first; as he’s speeding away down a hill and chugging the bottle of Jagermeister, he wonders just how sexy a female minotaur would be; would she have human tits or udders*
Receive injuries related to drunken sledding in a stolen coffin?
*smells bad. doesn’t move*
Play with stiff dead Joneseys junk?
*Checks Freds injuries, but goes for the Jager instead*
Slam into a huge hidden snow-covered rock with your sled?
*gets up and brushes the snow off his naked ass; curses neighbor kids for gawking; tosses empty Jagermeister bottle at them; walks back into funeral home; sits on Jonesy’s shit-stained chest and asks Kelta to help pinch the silicone out of his penis because it really itches*
Reanimate someone’s corpse?
*slightly warms due to being sat on*
Yeah! Reanimate someone’s corpse?
*emits a highly toxic steaming fart onto Jonesy’s chest; barfs up Jagermeister; smurf licks up vomit; Jonesy begins to rouse; Gren burps up her cud and begins to chew it; Kelta screams and then gets the silly giggles again*
Wouldn’t a reanimated corpse be a zombie? Technically?
*Grabs cactus to ass rape Fred with*
Technically, does Jonesy give a shit?
*Jonesy gets up and gets another bottle of Jager out of the freezer; we all sit down on the couch next to Grenola; we peel her bra off, pinch and thump her hardened teats; Gren nonchalantly continues to chew her cud, occasionally flicking out her huge cow tongue, jabbing it up one nostril and then the other; Smurf announces that we should all get ready for work; we all howl laughing, knowing that none of us worthless fucks have jobs*
Zombies love everybody.
*starts singing Lovefool in zombie voice*
Say screw it and sleep late?
*Fred is awakened by his cat Kitty Puss sticking her cold nose to his; gets up and starts for the kitchen to make get some coffee; grasps his ass and wonder if he was ass raped by a cactus during the night; tries to remember some strange dream that he was having just before waking up; sees that the power has been off and the clock on coffee maker is slow; says screw it; reaches in the freezer, bypassing the weapons grade bull semen and grabs a bottle of Yagermeister; logs onto EpicWin; sees Gren pissing on a calf*
Pretend not to enjoy it?
*doesn’t pretend, actually is dead*
Oh no! I ruined the story!
*doesn’t get to come back to life*
Definately a win for coolness, but I can’t help but think how big of a win a video would be the first time someone gets checked into those short boards and faceplants on the ground.
Play Hockey with Papa Smurf as the pup……