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    1. Ah, bunch of bollocks. I’ve lost count how many times I received some GHASTLY injuries from doing sports – of course not in EVERY case requiring immediate medical attendance, but bloody painful stuff nevertheless – and yet still: Here I am. No government money wasted on me.
      Well, on the other hand: I haven’t as yet been stupid enough to jump off a multi-story building and expecting to safely land on a roof across a six-yard gap…

    2. …And just because your gums bleed when you brush your teeth doesn’t put you in a daredevil status either.

    1. Well, as he hasn’t succeeded in KILLING himself and is most likely still able to procreate… no Darwin Award for this fella…

  1. Anyone who has ever sustained that type of injury can say definitively that Robert will not make a full recovery. Things are never quite the same when they have to screw and plate you back together.

    1. Really? Then perhaps you don’t understand the principles of natural selection.

      Taken from the official website of the Darwin Awards:

      Rules

      So how are the Darwin Awards actually determined?

      Nominees significantly improve the gene pool by eliminating themselves from the human race in an obviously stupid way. They are self-selected examples of the dangers inherent in a lack of common sense, and all human races, cultures, and socioeconomic groups are eligible to compete. Actual winners must meet the following criteria:

      Reproduction
      Out of the gene pool: dead or sterile.
      Excellence
      Astounding misapplication of judgment.
      Self-Selection
      Cause one’s own demise.
      Maturity
      Capable of sound judgment.
      Veracity
      The event must be true.

    2. It goes on to say the following:

      The prime tenet of the Darwin Awards is that we are celebrating the self-removal of incompetent genetic material from the human race. Therefore, the potential winner must be deceased, or at least incapable of reproducing. The traditional method is death. However, an occasional rebel opts for sterilization, which allows her more time to enjoy the dubious notoriety of winning a Darwin Award.

    3. What if you died while self-fellating, then leaked a mouthful of your own semen onto the crotch of a first responder and she became pregnant?

    4. Wow! I thought the Darwin Awards was just a hoax. Where do I send my check for support of this honorable establishment?

  2. yall are some idiots, he did not die and the only reason he failed was because the ground and rail were wet. he also almost made it by making the most out of the circumstanes (by flipping) major kudos to his Ukemi skills. stop hating him because he’s more talented than you, all of you would have just killed yourself before takeoff.

  3. The guy had EXCELLENT control and flow (excellent control up until the slip-up). I hope he recovered fully from that. I understand if he decided not to pursue parkor after that, but I hope he wasn’t disable from it either.

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