I just wasted 5 seconds of your time. EF

I purposely buy stick-shift cars so the wannabe gangsters down the street cant go joyriding in it. I even went as far as getting a bumper sticker made that said ‘real gangsters drive stick’, just to really piss them off. EF

For an exam i had all the answers on a sheet of paper under my test. But i still failed the test. I’m not a good enough cheater.. EF

My brother has bigger boobs than me. He’s 11, I’m 17. EF

My mother literally loves her dog more than me. It has more clothes and toys than me. EF

my 12 year old sister called my mom to come back from a sleepover she told me the next day shed walked in on her best friends parents having a threesome she couldnt sleep for weeks. MY DAD WENT ROUND THERE HOUSE TO COME BACK THREE HOURS L8ER AND SAY THAT WAS BRILLIANT MY MUM FLIPPED EP EP EP EP EF