WE'LL SEND YOU A POSTCARD. MADE OF BACON.

The staff goes up. The hands go up. The sea, which has not read the script, keeps coming. A pastor in a white robe walks down to the waterline with a crowd behind him and a long stick in one hand. He raises both arms and holds the pose. The people around him hold too, phones up, waiting for the water to open. It does the opposite. A wave runs up the sand, he turns to get clear of it, his footing goes, and the surge takes him sideways off his feet. Two men wade in and haul him upright. What he said to the crowd before he stepped forward is gone. The audio on the clip is wind and shouting and not much else. Almost nothing else about this is established. No name, no church, no town, and no date for the attempt itself. The footage was posted to X on 25 May 2026 and travelled from there to YouTube. The cut above comes from Preston Mwiinga's upload of it. Breezy Scroll ran it as Nigerian. The clip does not show that, nobody who posted it said it, and the same write-up that used the word also conceded it could not place him. He is a pastor at a beach. That is the whole of what anyone can stand behind.